Thanos: I have your son
Tony: I don’t?? Have a son??
Thanos: then who asked me for chocolate milk and made me cut the crust off his sandwich??
Tony: oh my gosh you have peter tHAT IS MY SON
will this lady survive this drag of the century
If anyone asks why Julia Louis-Dreyfus has won 5 consecutive Emmy’s for Veep direct them to this video
“now get the fuck outta here congresswoman” 😂😂😂
nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it
“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”
“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”
please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that
do u guys understand how creepy the pledge of allegiance is though like every day when ur a kid everybody just chants how great america is every morning it’s creepy
You do that every morning???
EVERY MORNING.
wait
wait
is this a real thing i thought that was just in the simpsons
no son
Wait, other countries don’t do this.
*whispers* Not even Russia
I remember when my dad had a conversation with me
because I asked him what the Austrian pledge of allegiance was (because he’s from Austria)
and he said “we don’t have a pledge of allegiance”
and I said “why not?”
“honey, think about what training your children to mindlessly pledge to a flag, without really knowing what they’re talking about, sounds like to Austrians”
“oh. hitler.”
“exactly”
RE FUCKING TWEET